Hardcore heavy metal. What is unexpected about it is at any other time I can’t stand the sound of it. During an anxiety attack it is as though a part of my mind is racing like an engine without a gear engaged. When I hear that music the racing engine engages it and quits bothering me. I can do what I need to do thinking wise. The anxiety is still doing it’s thing, but it’s mostly doing it with the music. I think it’s a form of entrainment process. It’s the rhythm that gets my mind’s attention. I would love to have an EEG run while doing this but me lab rat days are over.I’m still having Aphasia issues. I had to call out again from work. It is what it is. I’m still stoked that my brain isn’t frying. I do have short-short term memory issues happening now. If I’m not totally focusing on what someone tells me I won’t remember it 10 minutes later. It’s kinda convenient for honey dews but my wife is making sure that I write shit down now and she knows if she tells me two or three times. He knows she cannot exist, should notexist; a fantasy, an eidolon, a shadow on the brain was all she couldtruly be, though she still stands their peering back.Testing what he knows should not be real, slender fingers and nails skimthe glass as a face is observed. Behind the long pink bangs, not born ofa cheap dye job but seemingly natural down to the root, he finds a faceof Asian patrimony, though the eyes are a little larger than most. Thesepools of rich azure blink beneath the light, not betraying the truththat they were once brown and belonged in another?s face. Hands skim thesoft, smooth and warm contours of the face, small, pert nose withsloping, high cheeks and full lips, glistening pink before they fallback.Stepping back, the contours of a richly endowed body lie beneath the illfitting shirt. Delicate hands affirm this as they skirt the contoursfrom slender arms, full breasts whose nipples grate the cotton beforethe slender waist is found. Pulling back the hem, boxers are.
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